


Red Sorrow

by icelyvelvet



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Brainwashing, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain Hydra, Captain Hydra but only for the title, Dark, Dark Steve, Dark Steve Rogers, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Inspired by Video Edit, Kissing, M/M, Mental Instability, POV Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Purple Prose, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers as the Winter Soldier, Steve is just brainwashed and not a Nazi, Stucky - Freeform, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Trial
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-05-01 18:12:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14526309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icelyvelvet/pseuds/icelyvelvet
Summary: Hydra's greatest assets, the Winter Soldier and Captain Hydra, can easily crush the world together if they wanted to. Everyone knows; if you touch one of them, the other will return with the wrath of a thousand suns. To each other, they are merely work partners, but yet there is something between them that could turn dangerous if discovered.AU where Steve is Captain Hydra and Bucky is the Winter Soldier. Both of them, having been brainwashed by Hydra, have no memories of their past or connections.





	1. First Spark

James Buchanan Barnes was a man with blood-soaked hands. There was a time when that name held meaning to him, but for some time now, he was more the Winter Soldier than even half the man he once was.The same hands, one covered with a dark glove and the other made of cold steel, had ripped countless lives from their bodies. Not even a shred of hesitation would be there if Bucky had to take a life again, whether it was in the coming days or next few minutes.

However, with the current situation he was in, Bucky had his hands tied, quite literally. Silver bands wrapped over his wrists, and he could feel a metal sheet pressed against his back with two large strips clasping his shoulders. Like a plastic doll tightly secured in a cardboard box, these people had figured that mere restraints wouldn’t be good enough. Bucky was held in a huge metal container and the glass walls allowed him to see the agitated faces of his interrogators.

They were right; this was still a poor effort to cage him. As Bucky gently tested the shackles around his body, he knew it was entirely possible to tear free with some effort. He could do it, but seeing that he was in a highly reinforced building stacked with superheroes and guards, there was little purpose to do so. There was a right moment to escape without being captured again, and it wasn’t now.

“I need you to tell me everything about the Winter Soldier program,” a sharp and shrewd voice pierced through the tempered glass. The face of Agent Ross, with his furrowed brows and stern expression, peered into the cell to meet Bucky’s gaze.

The eyes that met the CIA agent were a deep blue, possessing a cutting coldness like shards of ice. They revealed nothing, and the silence sat heavy between them. 

“Look, we can do this the easy way or…” Agent Ross shrugged, pacing around the room, “Well, we’re currently doing it the easy way.”

Bucky’s fingers remained curled firmly into a fist, and his teeth clenched together as if his jaw had been wired shut. It might as well have been, because they weren’t going to get anything much out of this questioning.

Agent Ross rested his palms against the grey table placed across the containment cell with a look in his face that showed he knew this wasn’t going anywhere. 

“You need to understand that lives are on the stake here,” the CIA agent continued, “I’m just trying to help you and the only way that can be done is if you share the information you know about what Hydra did to you.”

Drawing a deep breath into his lungs, Bucky glanced up at the flickering fluorescent lights and he knew he was going to be in here for a while and the least he could do was buy some time. 

Bucky wasn’t sure who Hydra had sent to retrieve him. Deep in his gut, he not only knew, but had a silly hope that it would be _him_. 

“I can’t tell you much, but I can tell you one thing: I’m not the only Winter Soldier,” Bucky said, his voice low and dangerous. “I can bet that right now, right this very second, there are more out there and he’s coming straight for you.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The first time Bucky- or rather, the Winter Soldier- had met him, every muscle in his body snapped taut and bells set off in his head. It seemed like a warning, but it also felt as if he’d been submerged in water and finally broke through the surface for a painful gasp of air.

“Steve,” Vasily Karpov said, “That’s his name.”

Karpov paused, silence expanding into every corner of the tension-filled room for a while.

Bucky didn’t know why that was announced, but it didn’t matter to him. He was going to fight about a dozen candidates and by the end of the day, none of their names would linger in his mind. 

It was like Karpov was waiting for a reaction, but seeing Bucky’s unmoving deadpan expression, a shadow of relied flickered over his face before he continued. 

“He’ll be known as Captain Hydra. Only if he succeeds, of course,” Karpov said, retreating to the side-lines. “You may proceed.”

A masked man stood before Bucky, carrying his height with an impressive self-assurance. Strong, broad shoulders rippled beneath the black and red uniform; his figure was carved out of pure strength the way one was after being injected with the Super Soldier serum. Under Hydra’s emblem on Steve’s helmet was a pair of glacier blue eyes pierced with an eerie red ring in the centre. His gaze steadily swept Bucky from head-to-toe, sizing him up for the fight.

Bucky knew the rules of Hydra’s current program; if the candidates could defeat him or keep him down for a certain time in combat, they were accepted. Perhaps this activity was demeaning to any other person, but the option of not obeying Hydra’s commands was non-existent to the Winter Soldier.

The keen faces of the hopeful volunteers (Bucky assumed) sitting on the bench closely observed the two in the centre of the room. Surrounded by metal bars, scientists and guards, there was little room to run. Bucky hoped this would be over quickly.

Bucky slipped into a front that was just as unreadable as Steve’s as they circled each other, their feet treading lightly on the padded floor. 

One step, another, and Bucky dug one foot into the ground, using the force to bring his metal fist to the man’s face. Without a pause, Steve caught Bucky’s balled fist and pushed back.

A flash of surprise jolted through Bucky- this man was stronger than he expected.

His left hand slammed into Bucky’s abdomen, but he didn’t let the pain register. The edge of Bucky’s right palm swooped into Steve’s throat and he was forced to let go, stumbling backwards. Bucky charged forward, the tip of his boot connecting his opponent’s chest. He swung again, a solid uppercut that glanced Steve’s jaw. Blood speckled on the padded floor, joining the collection of old stains. 

Moves came fluidly to Bucky as he clutched his metal fist around Steve’s uniform, lifting him an inch before throwing him on the ground. Breathing heavily, Bucky looked at the candidate. His head hanging down, Steve supported himself with his elbows as he lied on his front. 

This man was done. The pure force in Bucky’s blows was enough to keep a normal person incapacitated for days, and it would keep even a super soldier down for a while. 

Bucky turned his body, glancing back at Karpov. He waited for this candidate to be dismissed, but the Russian man stayed impassive. 

A hand shot out, curling around Bucky’s leg and dragging him to the ground. With the strength of tall ocean waves crashing in on eroded shores, Steve hammered down on Bucky. The skin on Bucky’s cheekbone was battered thin until it blossomed into black and blue. His vision blinked out- darkness, a burst of white light, darkness again. 

Whether Steve decided it was enough or was pulled away, he stopped. 

Blood fell from Bucky’s nose, shining on his lips. He rolled over, pushing himself unto his feet. Pain had its fingers dug into his skull to the point it felt numb, as if his bones had crumbled in on themselves. 

Bucky had underestimated this man. 

Karpov approached Steve, his face split into a proud grin. “Congratulations, Captain Hydra,” he said, “You passed the test.”

A doctor ran up to Steve, his white coat billowing behind. He ran his hands over him, checking his vitals and searching for serious injuries. But unlike the men in authority, Bucky was a fighter and he could read the signs on someone like himself. The grey and red dots slowly faded from his sight. He saw the tension in Steve’s body, muscles still coiled tight like a spring looking for release. 

Steve grabbed the back of the doctor’s neck, carrying his weight effortlessly as he cracked his head against the hard cement. 

Everyone but Bucky flinched at that ugly sound. 

The guards snapped into action. Bucky watched one of them raise their rifle at Steve. An inexplicable instinct kicked in and his body moved on his own.

Bucky’s fist curled around the barrel, thrusting it upwards. The shot missed its target and the bullet ricocheted off the ceiling. Shoving the end of the rifle into the guard, Bucky knocked him out. As two guards rushed at Steve, Bucky flipped one over and sent the other flying across the floor. The room was seized by a wild frenzy, everything melting into a blur. 

“Stop him!” Karpov’s panicked voice cried above the rest. 

Arms with the grip of steel hooked around Bucky. The volunteer super soldiers hauled him backwards, tossing him into a cell. A guard swiftly rammed the lock shut, but Bucky showed no resistance. As quickly as it had swept over him, the weird urge that possessed Bucky to act was gone. The adrenaline drained away and weariness began to spool around his limbs. 

Bucky’s eyes locked with Steve’s through the metal bars.

His chest rose and fell as Steve exhaled ragged breaths. There was something thick brewing in the air as the two looked at each other, but it wasn’t the same hostile energy as earlier.

Steve’s hands, his raw knuckles split open like grapes, reached up to his helmet and tugged it off. His dark blonde hair, damp and tousled from the fight, was revealed. The look on his face said he wasn’t entirely clear why Bucky did it, yet he somehow just understood. While everyone else in the room rushed around in a flurry, an unspoken message was passed between Bucky and Steve. A mutual respect, a tacit bond was born. 

In that moment, a spark of the past flickered briefly: the bustling noise, the bright lights of a fair and bittersweet farewells.

_‘Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.’_

Bucky blinked, and like a small flame in the howling winds, the memory was extinguished from his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic on Ao3 so if you enjoyed it and would like to see more, leave some support <3 I started this before watching Infinity War and lost the will to continue, but now I really want to finish this!


	2. First Kiss

_things can get ugly, but we’re still a team_  
_we’re an army, that breaks from within, but_  
_that’s why we’re stronger, and that’s how we’ll win_

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Captain Hydra and the Winter Soldier were an unstoppable force. The world shuddered at the thought of even one of their names. They were feared to the point of being urban legends, whispered around a campfire’s dying embers. When put together, the two of them never failed a mission. Bucky clicked together perfectly with Steve to form a deadly union; every move made on the field came from an innate drive. 

Perhaps that was why it came naturally too when they kissed for the first time. 

It was an operation to obtain information and take down a noteworthy businessman. His name or how exactly he was a hindrance to Hydra didn’t matter to Bucky; he was going to forget all of that sometime anyway. Hydra sent out missions and Bucky finished them. 

The soles of Bucky’s combat boots shattered the large glass window. His metal palm pressed undauntedly over the shards of glass to vault him into the skyscraper. 

The guard closest to Bucky snapped his eyes open in shock but reacted swiftly, drawing out his gun. As his fingers reached to squeeze the trigger, a shield flew into his throat and he dropped instantly like a rock. Captain Hydra entered through the opening Bucky had made and landed gracefully, his shield back in his hand. A black helicopter outside the building, having delivered its passengers, drifted away into the sky. 

“You should watch your back more carefully, Soldier,” Steve remarked. 

“I don’t have to, I know you got it,” Bucky replied as he tossed a smoke grenade down the hallway. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky saw the corners of Steve’s lips turn up. But there was no time for little talk as Bucky proceeded without hesitation. His submachine gun took out the security guards that emerged from the smoke to stop him. Any that he missed, Steve was behind him to clean up. 

The locked office door was merely a sheet of paper to Bucky as he kicked it open. Two bodyguards immediately blocked his path. He instinctively fired but the magazine was empty. 

Bucky dropped his firearm and pulled out his combat knife. Dodging the bodyguard’s shots, he rushed at him. He shoved the guard at the floor-to-ceiling windows. The man’s back slammed against the glass but before he could fall, Bucky caught him with a blade sliding into his heart.

Sending a flying kick at the other male’s wrist, Bucky knocked loose his gun. The man barrelled his shoulder into Bucky’s chest and brought both of them down. Bucky threw his metal arm around the guard’s throat as he thrashed around wildly. His normal strength was no match for the super-soldier. Grimacing, Bucky tightened his grip before jerking it around hard. A loud snap filled the room and the man’s head hung loose at an unnatural angle.

Letting go of the limp body, Bucky stood up to see Steve confronting their target. The horrified businessman cowered under a sleek black desk, his head held between his hands.

“Get on the chair,” Steve ordered. His voice was unnervingly flat and his face devoid of any emotion.

The businessman trembled as he moved slowly to the grand leather office chair. He was partially hidden from Bucky’s view by the desk. It slipped Bucky’s notice as the man reached for the pistol resting at his waist.

A shot was fired. 

Before Bucky could even register what was happening, Steve was in front of him. The bullet ricocheted off the round surface of his shield before it was buried in wallpaper. 

“Please,” the businessman choked out, “Please don’t hurt me.” 

The man flung the pistol aside and it scattered across the carpeted floor. The knowledge that he would lose against them, whether in a gunfight or a fistfight, glimmered brightly in his wet eyes. 

When Steve lowered his shield, a quiet fury of a thousand suns burned behind his eyes. It was a look that sent shivers down Bucky’s spine. 

“Thanks for that,” Bucky said, but Steve didn’t seem to hear it. 

With a dangerous poise, Steve walked until he was in front of the businessman, nothing but the desk between them. Staring down Captain Hydra was an impossible feat for the man. His knees gave way and he fell back unto the chair as if he had been pushed down forcefully.

“I have a family back home, have mercy on me. I beg you, please spare me,” the man pleaded. Tears streaked down his face as he clasped his hands tightly together.

“The USB flash drive. Hand it over,” Steve said. 

Scrambling into motion, the man pushed a code into a drawer. As he shook uncontrollably, he fished out the flash drive and pushed it across the desk. 

Steve picked it up wordlessly. Bucky caught the pen drive out of the air when Steve tossed it over to him. 

“I appreciate your cooperation,” Steve said coolly.

The man let out a huge exhale and his shoulders drooped in relief. 

Steve drew out his gun and planted a bullet between the target’s eyes. The man’s body went slack on the chair, and the bits of his brain were almost indiscernible against the black leather. 

A beat passed before Steve turned to Bucky. “Let’s go,” he said. The bloodcurdling wrath that dwelled in his cobalt eyes a few seconds ago was gone. His demeanor had returned to normal and he was back to business.

Bucky nodded in agreement, not raising any questions about what just happened. They made their way down the fire exit and out through the back. Sirens blared to life and as the two of them stepped out of the building, Bucky could already hear men in pursuit. 

Bucky shared a knowing look with Steve before they both broke into a run. 

The evening air was alive with men’s frenzied shouts and their thudding footsteps. The clouds were tinged with purple-blue as the sun began to set, night approaching at its heels. Even with his heart beating erratically, Bucky kept a calm composure. It was all routine, nothing new. He jumped unto the wire gauze fence, hoisting himself over the edge and landing gracefully.

A Hydra-emblazoned shield gleamed every time it caught the dying sun’s light. Steve was ahead of Bucky, winding steadily through the ins and outs of the alley. Bucky ran, throwing a glance behind him to see their pursuers gathering at the fence. Turning forward again, he slowed down his pace when Steve seemingly disappeared from his sight. 

Confusion laced Bucky’s thoughts as he called out, “Cap-”

Before he could finish, a hand closed around his arm and pulled him to the left. Bucky found himself facing Steve, less than an inch away in a dark spot. 

“These local cops aren’t worth the fight,” Steve said as the red rings in his eyes glowed faintly, “We’ll lay low and let them pass us.” 

“Understood,” Bucky replied. Whatever they chose to do, those men wouldn’t pose a serious threat anyhow.

Silence settled around the two. Bucky watched the way the light cast shadows across Steve’s face before swiftly averting his gaze to what little ground they had between them. The sound of the men approaching grew clearer as they drew closer. Their footsteps echoed and the nearer the voices were, the more they dipped into Bucky’s nerves.

Cooped up in such a tight space, Bucky’s quick pulse was like a thundering drum in his ears. It was getting harder to breathe. Between him and Steve, it felt like there was hardly enough air to force inside his lungs to breathe. Each second that ticked by was like a second closer to something going off. The walls of the alley were slowly closing in on him, trapping him in the darkness. Every breath Steve took seemed to be unbearably loud. Bucky needed a way, quick, to drown out the noise.

Bucky’s hand reached for the back of Steve’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips met. The world around them fell away, leaving only the two of them in it. Steve’s eyes widened in surprise but he didn’t push Bucky away. Instead, his arms circled around Bucky’s waist, pressing them in a tighter embrace. 

Steve’s lips felt soft and warm. Their heartbeats melted together, and Bucky couldn’t tell which belonged to him. 

_Why does this feel so right?_ Bucky wondered, but any rational thoughts automatically disappeared when Steve’s tongue brushed against his lower lip. Bucky’s reaction was to part his mouth, allowing Steve to slip inside him.

The pressure built up behind their lips as they moved in sync. Bucky felt like they were pouring all the torment, confusion and tension Hydra had caused into each other. It was a desperate release he didn’t even know he needed. As their kiss deepened from something chaste to a heat more frantic, Bucky curled his fingers around Steve’s hair. Each push of Steve’s tongue against his stirred desires within Bucky that he was certain Hydra wouldn’t approve.

Bucky broke off the kiss, gasping for air. He could feel Steve’s warm breath ghosting across his lips. Steve’s hands still held Bucky close to him as he panted softly. Gazing at Steve’s full wet lips, it took a lot for Bucky not to kiss him again. The red rings in Steve’s blue eyes were dimmed. Gone was the cold calculative killing machine, in his place was a dazed boy with flushed cheeks who had just kissed and liked it very much. 

“Holy shit,” Bucky said. He pulled away from Steve and stepped into the sun’s last ray of light before it was swallowed by the dark clouds. The police had passed and it was just them alone. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for some time,” Steve admitted, “I…I didn’t think that you would do it first.”

Bucky didn’t ask Steve to elaborate because he had a million thoughts firing off in his mind, and most of them were not positive. “This is-that is never happening again,” he said, “For both of our own good. I can’t imagine what Hydra would do to us if they found out about it.”

There was a pause. 

“Yeah. You’re right,” Steve replied, still standing in the shadows. But he didn’t seem really convinced. The soft trace of hurt was barely noticeable in his voice. 

Seeing the dejection on Steve’s face was a stab in Bucky’s heart. He felt like he just kicked a puppy, but there was no other choice.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“How well do you know Captain Hydra?” Agent Ross said as he skimmed the documents in his hands. 

“I don’t know him,” Bucky replied wearily as he rested his head against the back of his restraints. A sceptical look from the CIA agent told him that Ross wasn’t buying his shit. 

“We worked together. That was it,” Bucky tried again, “I really don’t know much about him.”

“Describe how you first met him,” Ross said, turning a page over. 

“Hydra brought him in. He was insanely strong so it made sense to put us together,” Bucky said. Pretending to be cooperative placed him in an easier position to be extracted by Hydra, but he wasn’t certain when it would happen. Sharing vague information was the only thing he could do right now. 

“Is Captain Hydra active right now or is he in cryo?” 

“I don’t know,” Bucky answered. That was the truth.

“Where did he come from? Do you have any knowledge of Captain Hydra’s past?” Ross dragged a chair directly in front of Bucky’s holding cell before taking a seat. 

“No. He was a part of my missions, nothing more,” Bucky answered, “We’re not exactly in Hydra to make friends.” 

Ross drew his attention away from the files in his hands and leaned forward to the glass. A grave expression framed his eyes as he asked, “Then why exactly are you in Hydra, Soldier?”

It was a question that wormed its way uncomfortably through Bucky’s chest. He never dared think about answers to questions like that, because if Hydra had sensed even a flicker of doubt, he would’ve been placed under a mind wipe immediately. 

Bucky looked elsewhere, wishing time could go by faster. “Are we going to be here for long? If so, I could do with a glass of water,” he quipped. 

Ross glanced at the watch on his wrist before cursing under his breath. “We promised to have you over by the Stark Tower- the Avengers Tower or whatever they’re calling it now,” he said, “But remember: if they have no luck with you, you’re coming right back to us.”

“Load him up in the vehicle,” Ross ordered the guards as he stood up, walking away without a second look at Bucky. 

A sigh slipped from Bucky’s lips. The full-bodied restraints gave him no comfort and it was starting to feel stifling. It was worse knowing that he had the ability to tear through them but until Hydra sent an extraction team, he needed to be patient.

Feeling like a hamster in its cage, Bucky quietly observed the guards who began to relocate his holding cell. Most of them avoided looking at him, but the ones that did had an expression of fear. That was the default emotion the Winter Soldier incited from everyone. There were only two kinds of people in his world; the ones he hurt and the higher-ups in Hydra who hurt him.

The only exception to this was Steve. He was an equal, someone who actually saw Bucky as a person rather than just a weapon.  
Despite what Bucky insisted the first time they kissed, their desires defied logic. Kissing was far from the only thing they did during the stolen moments when they weren’t under Hydra’s watch. Sparking a burning passion probably wasn’t Hydra’s intention when they introduced Steve to Bucky, so everything was kept under wraps. 

One day, Bucky thought as he was moved into the back of an armoured truck, his unclear relationship with Steve would bring one or both of their downfalls. Their first kiss wasn’t their last- it happened again, again, and again. Like the opposites of a magnet, they were always inescapably drawn to each other.


	3. Comfort

Stillness bled over every part of Bucky’s body as he stared down into the scope of his sniper rifle. He watched the figures move around like little ants, unaware of the predator’s aim upon them. 

Bucky was positioned in a dingy building, not far across a fancy hotel where people clustered in a private hall. His finger rested gently on the trigger. Calmness was crucial; if he missed, it would blow the whole operation. 

Breathing in slowly, Bucky trained his crosshair on a woman standing next to a regally dressed man. He tuned in to the split-second beat of his heart and squeezed the trigger. 

The bullet whistled through the air, breezing past the thin glass, and made itself home in its target. Bucky breathed out, releasing his grip on the weapon. There was no sense of accomplishment or victory, just the same deadpan feeling. Of course he would never fail in his marksmanship; he was the Winter Soldier. 

In the hall with lush carpeted floors and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling like suspended stars, a wave of hysteria washed over the room as everyone was sent into a mad scramble. The gunshot was a signal for someone else. 

A gleaming shield became a grey blur as it soared around the room, too fast for the human eye. There was an orchestra of exchanged gunfire and ear-splitting screams before the small gathering was taken out. The chaos was quashed as quickly as it began.

Bucky watched the blood splattered man who was standing next to his target get dragged away somewhere else. He was the leader of a certain country’s political party, the woman his deputy. For months and years to come, the mystery behind their deaths would throw nations into turmoil and distrust, but none of that mattered to Bucky. He was just another pawn in a game he didn’t ask to play. 

Bucky packed up his station, strapping the rifle over his back. He backed to the end of the room before breaking into a jog, gaining enough momentum to leap from one building to the other. Landing on a window ledge, his hands tightened around a drainpipe before he began to climb. 

Once Bucky reached the right level, he slipped furtively into the grand hotel. He made his way to the hotel room that matched the number on his key card.

When he entered, Bucky saw the minister’s slack body on chair hastily rolling into the bathroom. His first thought was that something in the operation had gone wrong. 

Arms circled around Bucky’s waist and his instincts kicked in. He swung his elbow and felt it connect with his assailant’s jaw. 

Spinning around to face the person who startled him, Bucky was only greeted with the sight of Steve with his face cradled in his hands. He had made a sound of pain, but he didn’t swear- Bucky knew it wasn’t his thing. 

“Soldier, it’s just me,” Steve said with a groan as he shut the door behind him. “That kinda hurt.”

“My bad,” Bucky said. With the threat of a fight gone, he felt himself relaxing. “You should know better than to sneak up on an assassin, Captain.”

“Steve. I’ve told you before; just call me Steve when we’re alone,” Steve corrected as he walked over to the plush leather sofas. “I wanted to surprise you.” 

Steve picked up a towel, casually wiping away the last of the tell-tale red streaks on his hands. Bucky had to admit that he looked good in the uniform; it was a perfect fit, the black-and-red material molding his torso beautifully. 

Bucky looked around the hotel suite. Flames crackled peacefully by the fireplace. The cream and gold wallpaper was spotless, and an intricate bronze statuette was undisturbed on a crystal clear glass coffee table with silver legs. 

The instinct Bucky had earlier wasn’t wrong: there was something off. The room was way too orderly and pristine for the blood-spilling torture he knew had taken place moments before he arrived. 

“Did you…tidy the place?” Bucky asked, perplexed by why Steve would do that. “That’s what the clean-up crew is for, you know.” 

“Well, I couldn’t exactly prepare music and a candle lit dinner,” Steve replied, a light smile playing over his lips. 

Bucky raised a brow at Steve’s implication, but chose to focus on the more important matter at hand. 

“You made the minister sign those documents?”

“Done. They’re right here.” Steve tapped the black briefcase on the oak table. 

“That was fast. We were supposed to coerce him together,” Bucky said, checking the time on the gold-gilded clock.

“I needed to make up time,” Steve explained.

“Make the time for what?” Bucky said, pulling out the portable radio from his utility belt, ready to call in to Hydra.

Walking over to Bucky, Steve gently took the device away and tossed it aside before Bucky could press any button. 

Steve tilted Bucky’s chin towards him and caught his lips in a kiss. He slid his thigh between Bucky’s legs, backing him up against the hotel door. 

“So I could make time for this,” Steve said, dropping kisses along the contour of Bucky’s jaw. 

“Our orders were to-”

“Finish the mission and report to base,” Steve finished. “But there’s no hurry to rush back just to train tirelessly again and again or let the white coats prod at us.”

He did have a point, and his lips also felt ridiculously good running along the curve of Bucky’s neck. 

“Screw it then,” Bucky said, and a smile lit up Steve’s face. 

Sometimes it was as if Bucky had imagined the flustered, almost shy, Steve back when they first kissed. This Steve knew precisely how to bewitch Bucky with his blink-and-you’ll-miss-it charming smiles that tugged at his heartstrings. This Steve took every opportunity to steal kisses whenever no one else was looking and drew out needs in Bucky that he should know better to suppress. This Steve was a man who knew exactly what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to get it. 

They surrendered to an all-consuming mutual desire, and their clothes were on the ground as fast as super soldiers could undress. Steve’s hands roamed freely along Bucky’s sides, his thumbs digging into his hipbones. 

Steve kissed him like Bucky was the ocean and he was a man desperate to drown. The feeling took over Bucky’s thoughts like a sugar rush, making him giddy. He stopped Steve, his hands brushing the other man’s cheekbones before sliding down to his chest. 

“Get on the bed,” Bucky growled, his palms pushing Steve backwards. Steve’s eyes glowed with challenge and his lips curled up in amusement but he didn’t disobey. 

With their arms around each other, they clumsily made their way to the bedroom. The oak doors swung open and Steve’s back fell unto the soft cloud-like bed. The silken sheets and sturdy golden bed frame was a far cry from the naked threadbare mattress back at Hydra. It fueled the sense that this was all just an illusion, a flash of temporary bliss before they had to return to reality.

Bucky left a trail of kisses all the way from Steve’s thigh to his flat abdomen before straddling him, Steve’s waist between his knees. He ground his hips down in a way he knew would drive Steve wild. 

“Fuck, Soldier,” Steve said with a groan. 

Bucky let out a laugh, running a finger over Steve’s jawline.

“Where’d that straight-laced mouth go?” Bucky purred.

Steve blinked, surprise flickering over his face. He reached up, crushing their lips into a searing kiss. 

“Seeing you smile does very dangerous things to my heart,” Steve said, “I just can’t get enough of you.”

No one else spoke to Bucky the way Steve did, as if he was valued in ways other than his deadly set of skills. Sweet words like that didn’t belong in Bucky’s world. 

With one hand splayed across Bucky’s chest and another around his pelvis, Steve flipped him over unto his back. Bucky’s toned legs fell open to cradle Steve’s hips. As Steve feathered eager kisses along his neck and pushed his body into Bucky’s, Bucky allowed himself to drown in the pleasure of the moment. Everything apart from the two of them didn’t exist during times like this. 

The thought that Steve was set up to do this and play with Bucky’s feelings as some sort of messed up experiment by Hydra had dwelled in Bucky’s mind before. He knew seduction tactics wouldn’t be too low for Hydra, yet he couldn’t think of any reasonable agendas as to why they would do it with their own assets. The conclusion he’d reached was that Steve and him were just lost souls enmeshed in Hydra’s indecipherable schemes, and it wouldn’t hurt less to be lost in each other while they were at it. 

By the time they were finished, Bucky and Steve lay on their backs, their bodies pressed together. Their shared warmth oddly felt like home. As super soldiers, stamina wasn’t a problem. They could go at each other all day and all night if possible, but time was a limited resource that slipped by quickly. 

Bucky could feel Steve watching him, but he only dared to look back for a second before flicking his gaze back to the ceiling. During moments like these, the strange red ring in Steve’s otherwise beautiful eyes glowed the dimmest. 

Wild heated sex was something Bucky didn’t have to question; it was a primal desire that didn’t require reasoning. But the cocoon of tranquillity and comfort that wrapped around them afterwards was what threw him off his edge. 

“I wish I knew your name. I never understood why they told me mine when all they ever call me is by my title,” Steve admitted. “I’m Captain Hydra to the world, but the only time I truly feel like Steve is when I’m by your side.”

Steve absent-mindedly played with Bucky’s hair, twirling a russet strand around his finger before tucking it behind Bucky’s ear. 

“You’re the only consistent thing in this hellhole of my life. Every person I meet is just another faceless person bound to fade away at my next wipe, but not you,” Steve whispered. “I can’t explain why, but no matter what happens, I can’t get you out the back of my head.” 

Bucky let Steve’s words soak in, heavy and thick, as a fragile feeling coiled around his insides. He pulled away from Steve’s embrace and sat up on the bed, his hair falling over his face. When he looked at Steve, Bucky knew there was genuine concern in his own eyes and it scared him. To think too much, to care too much, was what lead to Hydra tearing away any capability to do so again. 

“Don’t you ever let Hydra hear that. That kind of thing is what puts you in the electric chair and your brains all rewired,” Bucky warned. “Why would you even tell me? I’m part of Hydra too; I can easily inform them that you’re experiencing defective thoughts.”

The pain that the electric chair put them through was one that drilled deep into their bones, sticking its fingers in every crevice of their minds until any semblance of self had been completely ripped to shreds. If Bucky cried out in agony during the procedure, it was inconsequential to him. But Bucky was too familiar with Steve’s screams echoing through the cement walls, and that was what flipped the wrong switch in him. Anyone near him was instantly in danger. 

“But you won’t,” Steve said earnestly. “And that’s why I told you- because I trust you, even when that word doesn’t exist in our universe of assassins.” 

Steve got up, placing a warm hand on Bucky’s cheek with tenderness that could kill. Bucky found himself unable to pull away from the intensity burning in Steve’s sky blue eyes. 

“I don’t know how I could go on by myself if anything were to happen to you. I swear I’d bring down the stars and skies if it meant keeping you safe.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Winter Soldier had been compromised. 

Brock Rumlow sat in the quinjet, watching Captain Hydra equip himself with the necessary weaponry. The whirring sound of the turbines filled the frosty atmosphere in the flight. 

“The asset is being transported from the CIA to the Stark Tower. Now their vehicle is in the open, it’s the best time for the extraction,” Rumlow shouted over the bellowing wind as the latch began to open. “This is your drop point, if you miss the target, catch up.”

“I know what to do,” Captain Hydra replied brusquely without diverting his attention from prepping. “The next time you see me, I’ll already have reported back with the Winter Soldier.”

Animosity rolled off him like a fog from sea. Rumlow wasn’t blind to the asset’s plain distaste of him.

“Try to keep it small. If you need backup, call in,” Rumlow continued, but he doubted that would be the case. This was the one mission the Captain would never fumble at. 

Captain Hydra picked up his shield and attached it to his back effortlessly as he walked to the lowered latch. 

“Oh, and Cap? You might wanna watch out. Although they usually deal with more otherworldly shit like aliens, there’s this new thing called the Aven-” 

“Rumlow, if I hear another word out of you, I’ll cut your tongue out myself,” Captain Hydra said, his voice ice-cold. He looked over for the first time after the whole trip, and the expression in his eyes felt as if it could slice cleanly through Rumlow.

With that, Captain Hydra crossed his arms over his chest and leapt from the quinjet, straight as an arrow. 

Rumlow was left wordless, staring at the empty space where the soldier had been, the wind still blowing at his face. He bit back a sigh when he noticed the Captain’s parachute lying untouched in the corner.


	4. Control

Silence was their best friend when around Hydra. Not a word stretched between Bucky and Steve as they sat on the benches in the transport vehicle. The driver and escort agent were visible through a rectangle slot that was open. Every now and then, their handler would look in the mirror, but there was nothing noteworthy going on behind.

With his hands resting on his lap, Bucky gaze was glued intently downwards, as if the metal floor of the retrofitted van was somehow fascinating. The grenade launchers and assault rifles by his side rattled unremittingly as the van travelled to their destination.

Today’s mission was to retrieve scientific samples and serums from a S.H.I.E.L.D. research centre at the outskirts of the city. Awaiting them was inside men who would help cover everything up and make their operations untraceable.

Steve was sitting across Bucky, trying to maintain a poker-face but not succeeding as well. Every now and then, his eyes would flick tentatively over at Bucky. It wasn’t something anyone else would notice, but Bucky was familiar enough with Steve to know that he was uneasy. His muscles were tense, and his breathing was at a deeper rate than usual. 

Bucky wondered what could there possibly be for Steve to be anxious about. There might’ve been something about this mission that made Hydra intimidated enough to send both of them, but it shouldn’t have been anything new to worry.

The cargo van slammed into a halt. Tires screeched on rough tarmac as the engines died. A second before the lights above them blinked out and bathed the space in darkness, Bucky saw Steve lean over and pushed the slot so it was shut.

Bucky didn’t have to think before he leapt into action, swiftly carrying an assault rifle and standing up. He heard loud exclamations from the driver and their handler as they left the van for inspection. Moving towards the barn doors, Bucky was ready to kick them down and face whoever had stopped the vehicle.

A hand grabbed Bucky’s shoulder, making him spin back seconds away from getting out. Steve disarmed him before Bucky could react. The emergency lights activated and a red glow flooded over the two of them.

“Soldier, it’s okay,” Steve said as he held Bucky in assurance.

Bucky paused, locking his eyes with Steve’s for a moment before realisation dawned on him.

“This was your doing,” Bucky said. 

The look on Steve’s face confirmed it. Under the crimson wash, the red rings in his eyes were nearly imperceptible.

“You better explain yourself. What the hell is going on?” Bucky demanded.

“We don’t have much time, but I just wanted to get this off my chest,” Steve said. 

A somber expression framed his immaculately defined features, but Bucky saw the hesitant, almost fearful, apprehension beneath it. Whatever he wanted to say, he didn’t dare look at Bucky in the face as he began.

“I can’t trust anyone, not even myself. There are times when every part of me is screaming for me to stop this. That everything we’re doing is somehow against what I believe in, but I don’t know what that is when I’m not even sure who I am.”

The words spilled from Steve’s lips in an unstoppable torrent, hanging unguarded and open in the air. He drew in a shaky breath, clenching his fists before he continued.

“I can’t ever slip out a word of this, because Hydra will immediately put me through the hellish wipes again, and you know how it feels like. The thing is, you’re the only one here I feel like I can say this to. You are what’s keeping me sane, you are what’s keeping me from jumping into an enemy’s hail of bullets just for the slight chance that it could kill me. I feel like- for some reason- I’d give my life up for you.”

Steve stopped abruptly. It seemed like he had more to say, but his eyes met Bucky’s with a look that pierced through his heart like silver daggers. It was raw and vulnerable, desperately seeking something from Bucky that he simply didn’t know how to give.

When Bucky didn’t respond, Steve looked down, dispirited and almost ashamed. He let out a soft sigh, turning away and returning to his seat. His fingers laced tightly together as he gathered himself, ditching away any sign of weakness.

“I’m sorry, Soldier. This is probably freaking you out,” Steve said. “I had to let it out even if it didn’t make any sense. Let’s just forget about it, pretend this conversation never took place.”

The lights came back on, the vehicle’s engines hummed to life. The driver and the escort agent returned to the van after checking what was happening. Steve slid the slot open before they could realize it was ever closed.

“We don’t know what was that back there, but everything’s functional again,” their handler said as he casted a wary gaze behind, “Be on guard when we reach the destination. There might be someone out for you.”

“Noted,” Steve said, his face solemn as if nothing had occurred. “If anyone gets in our way, we’ll take care of them.”

Silence sat heavy in the air, ripping a gaping chasm between them. Thoughts perched on the tip of Bucky’s tongue, wanting to give Steve an answer he deserved, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The words tucked back in his throat, forming a hard bitter ball. 

Bucky wondered if Steve knew the number of times they already had conversations like this. Sometimes Bucky assumed that Steve simply wanted to solidify his feelings, but each time he poured out his soul, he did it like it was his first. It was devastatingly obvious then that he’d been mind-wiped. When it first started, Bucky hoped there would be a time when Steve would totally forget his attachment to him, but it was always the same, lingering perpetually.

Pain found home in Bucky’s heart, pinching at his lungs, and making it hard to breathe. He didn’t know how much longer he could watch Steve suffer through these repetitive loops.  
Bucky bit the insides of his cheek until the metallic taste of blood was on his tongue.

As the van approached their drop-off point, Bucky didn’t dare let himself look at Steve in fear that it would betray what he harboured within. Boiling anger, blistering sadness and worst of all, the feeling of helplessness- that he couldn’t do a thing to change the situation they were in- were like shards of glass buried under his skin. 

For some reason, Bucky was reminded of a fight in a tight alley, the need to break it up and protect something-or someone. The memory was there, blurry at the back of his mind, but he just couldn’t make it clear. He could only dismiss it as the van slowed to a stop, his focus drawing to the mission at hand.

“You’re getting off here. Any closer or any more men with you would draw too much attention, so you two are on your own from here on out,” the escort agent explained, “Call in when you’re done and we’ll send transport around this area.”

Steve gave a brief nod of acknowledgement while Bucky grabbed the weapons he needed and headed out directly. His boots landed on sandy ground, Steve following behind him as the van drove out of sight.

Bucky scanned their surroundings carefully. It was a ghost town, eerily devoid of any human activity. The occasional squawk of crows searching for scraps rang through the dry air, but other than that, it was dead silence. It looked as if something big and disastrous had barrelled through the town. The decrepit buildings were abandoned, empty husks of life they once contained. Bucky wouldn’t be surprised to see tumbleweed rolling around the next corner.

A few miles away from the ghost town, the S.H.I.E.LD. camp was visible, surrounded by nothing but bare land on all sides.

“We’ve got quite some distance to cover,” Steve said, squinting through the golden beams of the sun. “Let’s get moving.”

“Wait-” Bucky said as he caught a glint of someone’s reflection in the windows of a store. “There shouldn’t be anyone here, but I think I saw movement in the bank.”

Steve glanced in the said direction where there seemed to be nothing. Regardless, he nodded and began moving towards the bank anyway. 

The glass doors at the entrance were shattered and already ajar. As they walked in, Bucky stepped on the strewn papers and documents, signs that whoever was in there all left in a hurry. The sofas in the reception area were torn and tattered, surrounded by crooked desks.

Bucky shared a knowing look with Steve as indistinct murmuring slithered out from behind the long wooden counters. Steve led the way to the back, his shield on his arm, and Bucky behind him, cautiously gripping his assault rifle.

The source of the scratchy voices came from the large bank vault. The round metal door was unlocked and Steve swung it open easily, stepping in first. Everything valuable had either been cleared out or scavenged and the low whispers reverberated against the concrete walls.

Bucky followed behind Steve’s footsteps. It took him a moment to realise that the voices were in Russian, and they didn’t come from a person. At the back of the vault, a black radio rested upon a metal block surrounded by auto-turret guns. Static blurred the edges of the words that were broadcasted, but they were still loud and clear.

_Longing.  
Rusted.   
Daybreak.  
Furnace. _

__The turret guns sprung to life. Bucky could see on Steve’s face that he had figured out first what those words meant. He deflected the spitting gunfire with his shield and turned around to briefly lock his eyes with Bucky’s._ _

__“Don’t you da-” Bucky warned, recognising the self-sacrificing look in Steve’s dreading eyes, but it was a second too late. Steve kicked him out of the vault and the heavy door slammed shut._ _

__“Fuck, no- Steve!” Bucky shouted as he hammered his metal fist on the vault door. He didn’t have any time to try to break in before bullets whizzed past the side of his cheek and were embedded into the door, narrowly missing him._ _

__Bucky spun around to see three figures rolling out from behind the desks, guns in their hands. Raising his metal arm to block the shots, Bucky fired at the nearest assailant. He charged at him before he fell over, using him as a human shield._ _

__Bullets cut through the air, but none of them hit Bucky as he advanced to the next attacker. She shot relentlessly, swearing when her gun was emptied and nothing came out but clicks. Bucky heaved the body on her before she could draw another weapon._ _

__Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky saw the third man back away, ceasing fire, and running out of the bank. Anger flared up in Bucky’s chest; he wasn’t going to let anyone escape._ _

__As the woman pushed the body off, Bucky aimed and shot her point blank. He ran out the bank, chasing after the last person who was heading deeper into the ghost town._ _

__The man left the empty roads, leaving dust behind him as he winded steadily through the ruins of the abandoned buildings. If he was fast, then Bucky was like lightning- there was no beating a super soldier._ _

__Letting loose a bullet that hit the man in the shoulder, Bucky made his way easily through the debris and caught up to him in a ransacked store. His sights on the skull, he pulled the trigger only for the magazine to run short._ _

__Bucky cracked the gun across the man’s head before dropping it and grabbing the man by the neck, hoisting him against the peeling wall._ _

__“Who sent you? What the hell have you done?” Bucky growled._ _

__“You stole our technology, now the only way to get it back is to use it against you,” the man spat in Russian. He broke free from Bucky’s grip, turning away to flee._ _

__Sliding a knife out of his sheathes, Bucky drew his arm back and swung a perfect throw. The blade made itself home in the back of the man’s throat and Bucky didn’t even bother watching collapse before he headed back to the bank._ _

__Political agendas, double-crossing conspiracies- things Bucky was kept in the shadows about were trivial because he had no say over them. What mattered to him, the only thing in his life now that gave him a sense of belonging was Steve._ _

__“Captain?” Bucky said, picking up a firearm from one of the fallen soldiers. He stepped over the bodies as silently as possible, cautiously treading through the bank in case there were remaining hostiles._ _

__Bucky’s heart sank when he saw the door to the vault ripped from its hinges. He peeked inside to see nothing but flickering lights, a step away from dying out, and the radio smashed to bits._ _

__“Steve?” Bucky called out again, nervousness running through his veins._ _

__Everything was still, too still. Bucky detected the slight shift in the air, but not fast enough as a shield barrelled against his side, sending him flying across the room._ _

__His metal fingers digging into the ground to bring back his balance, Bucky just barely landed on his feet. The gun was knocked out of his hand, but he had no intention of using it._ _

__“Steve-” Bucky gasped before he was cut off by Steve throwing the shield at him. He blocked it with his metal arm, knocking it out of its course as it bounced off the wall and back to Steve again._ _

__It took one look at Steve to tell that everything wasn’t right. His face was devoid of any expression or any hint that there was a soul in his body. The red rings in his eyes glowed brighter than they ever did before and it made him seem more machine than man._ _

__The bank was too open of a space for Bucky’s liking. It wouldn’t have been a problem if he was trying to take down an enemy, but he was torn about what to do with Steve._ _

__Bucky snapped a stun grenade from his belt and flung it in the air. The bright flash was enough of a distraction for him to run out of the bank. Without a distinct destination in mind, he headed towards a tall concrete building facing the stagnant lake._ _

__Striding up the dusty stairs to the top floor, Bucky went through the possible choices in his mind. The most obvious one was to call in to Hydra and they’d send in the required team to deal with this situation. But Bucky had a fairly good idea of what Hydra would choose to do with Steve- once an asset turned into a liability, the only way out was to get rid of it. That was something Bucky could not let happen._ _

__It felt more like cornering himself than an ambush, but Bucky didn’t have the leisure of coming up with a proper plan. He could taste his beating heart on his tongue as he glanced out the window and saw Steve swiftly on the hunt. To see him like this was like a stab to the gut._ _

__Crouching behind a wall, Bucky waited for the sound of Steve’s footsteps grow louder. Once he was sure Steve was just a level below him, Bucky made his move to leap over the railing, landing on Steve’s back in an attempt to tackle him down._ _

__Hoping to knock him out, Bucky tightened his arm around Steve’s throat. Steve’s fingers grasped at him before he swung forward, flipping Bucky over._ _

__Bucky crashed through a wall and unto the carpeted floor of a small room. Before he could get up, Steve pinned him down and roughly brought his shield down. Bucky caught the edge of the shield before it met his neck and jerked it out from Steve’s grip, sending it clattering on the ground._ _

__Leaping unto his feet, Bucky’s instincts took over and he delivered a strong kick to Steve’s chest. Before he knew it, a loud crack rung through the air, glass burst like a flurry of pigeons into a dozen shards, glittering as they descended a few stories below and Steve was no longer in front of him._ _

__“Oh, fuck,” Bucky said as he rushed to the remaining frame of the window in time to see a big splash of water blossom on the lake._ _

__He didn’t have to think twice before backed up, gaining momentum and diving down after Steve._ _

__The water rushed up all around Bucky at once when he hit the water. Through the snakes of air bubbles in the lake, he saw Steve’s figure slowly falling deeper into the darkness._ _

__Bucky swam until he reached him, hooking one arm around his waist and pulling him up to the light. He gasped for breath when they broke the surface of the the water, greedily sucking in the cool air. With Steve by his side and already formulating what to do next in his mind, he began to make his way back to land._ _

____

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When Steve woke up, he was strapped to a chair, hands behind his back, in one of the deserted buildings.

Bucky watched Steve slowly jerk awake. He stood up from the bed he’d been sitting on, alert and ready to fight. There were still usable weapons, but they lay far away because they weren’t an option at all. 

Steve strained against the makeshift shackles, and Bucky winced when he heard the snap and clanking of the broken chains hitting the ground. He knew this was foolish, was he going to regret not making the more effective decision to call Hydra to restrain Captain Hydra? 

“Soldier?” 

Steve’s voice was hoarse and spent, but hearing the way he said it, the aching crack that the two of them were too familiar with, Bucky just knew the real Steve- as real as he could be, anyway- was back. 

Holding his head in his hands, Steve looked up at Bucky, his stormy blue eyes dark with a blistering pain. 

“Oh, Soldier, what did I do?” 

Steve stood, his lower lip trembling as he made his way towards Bucky before his body went loose, almost collapsing on him. Bucky caught him as the two fell back on the bed, one hand around his head and another at his waist. As the golden light of the setting sun casted around them, Bucky held him close in an embrace, wanting to wash away all the hurt he felt. 

“We’re machines. That’s all we are, right?” Steve said softly. “But no, not really, because if we were, I shouldn’t be able to feel. There shouldn’t be a part of me that’s conscious of everything, like I’m watching myself from afar, operating a puppet body that I don’t know how to stop.”

“Feeling like this, knowing something is wrong but not being able to do anything about it makes everything tenfold worse.” 

Bucky felt something wet against his neck, and he could only pull Steve closer. He didn’t need to reply for Steve to know that he understood every word he said. His heart wrenched like a shard of glass buried in his ribs- he was tired of feeling so helpless. They laid there in silence, Bucky giving Steve as much time as he needed to release and gather himself together. 

After a while, Steve’s breathing steadied and he was calmed down once more. 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that, and I’m sorry I messed up this mission,” Steve said, pulling away, “I’m fine now, we can report back to Hydra- I’m ready for the wipe.” 

A wipe was the most logical step after what happened to Steve, but something held Bucky back. 

“No.” 

“What do you mean, Soldier?” 

“If Hydra doesn’t know, then it never happened,” Bucky said. “I don’t want your memory to be wiped. What little we, it’s the only thing that remotely belongs to us, and this is selfish, but- I couldn’t bear to lose it.” 

Steve stared at him, eyes wide and too startled to respond. Not knowing how to express the feelings that flooded him, Steve pressed Bucky into a kiss and that was enough to say it all.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Steve sat on the examination table in Hydra’s infirmary, a nurse by his side drawing blood from his arm.

Soldier’s plan had been to call in Hydra, but only to report Steve back as injured so he could recover properly because he was in no condition, not when his control was so unstable, to continue on the field. Against Steve’s wishes, Soldier chose to stay behind so he could finish the mission and as he was brought back to the base, he could only hope to see Soldier again.

When the physical examination was done and he was deemed fit, Steve was put straight back to training. He trusted that Soldier was more than capable to accomplish the mission on his own, but a tight knot of worry still twisted up his insides as he could only take out his frustration on the punching bag before him. 

With each hit, the punching bag shook violently and the hook connecting it to the ceiling rattled dangerously. Seeing Alexander Pierce and Brock Rumlow with an assemble on men behind them walk across behind the grimy window, Steve stopped immediately, trying to listen in on their conversation. 

“The asset’s been compromised, sir. I’ve got an extraction team right here, ready to go,” Rumlow said as they headed into the artillery room.

Steve’s heart skipped a beat and he didn’t have to make too many guesses on who else the asset could be. Making a beeline to where Pierce and Rumlow were, they paused amidst their conversation when he directly strode in their planning. 

“Sir, if the Soldier is compromised, I’m the best option you’ve got,” Steve said. 

“I think not, Captain. If you weren’t well enough to complete the mission with the Soldier, then you aren’t well enough to go on a mission to retrieve him,” Pierce said, skeptical and unimpressed. Rumlow stood by his side with an amused smirk across his face that Steve wished he could wipe off. 

“Besides, look around you, Captain,” Pierce continued, gesturing to the soldiers around them, “We’ve got more than enough men here to rescue one person.” 

Frustration and anger boiled beneath Steve’s skin and the tension in him was building to a breaking point. He didn’t know if this was another one of Hydra’s stupid tests, but if it involved Soldier, then god forbid, he was going to do it. 

Something in him snapped and Steve reached for the nearest soldier and threw him to the ground. His blind fury was insurmountable and in a few minutes, he was standing in a room of incapacitated soldiers, chest heaving as he breathed heavily. 

“You don’t anymore, not now,” Steve said. 

Pierce watched coldly with his hands in his pockets while Rumlow hovered warily next to the door, ready to make an escape if necessary. 

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get on it,” Pierce said, passing the files over to Rumlow before waving dismissively and walking out.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As the hovercraft was getting prepared for the lift-off, Steve waited, trying containing his impatience. Rumlow walked up to him with a confident swagger that wasn’t present earlier when Steve wiped out Hydra’s previous extraction team. Steve never liked the guy, it felt as if Rumlow knew he had an attachment to the Soldier, and would always toy offhandedly with him just to provoke Steve.

“So, the Winter Soldier’s must be pretty important to you for you to be this eager to rescue him, huh?” Rumlow said as he sidled up next to Steve. 

“He’s one of Hydra’s most valuable assets. It would only make sense that I wouldn’t want him in incapable hands,” Steve replied tersely. 

“Bullshit,” Rumlow snorted. 

“Do you ever think that this thing between you and Soldier was exactly what Hydra programmed? That this silly connection was simply insurance to keep either of you from jumping ship?” Rumlow said, a taunting gleam in his dark eyes. 

White hot anger flashed behind his vision and Steve had Rumlow pinned to the side of the hovercraft in less than a second, his arm pressed against his throat. 

“This isn’t the time to be playing games with me, Rumlow,” Steve warned. 

“You might wanna take your hands off me, Cap,” Rumlow choked out. “I’m the head of this operation, it wouldn’t be wise to hurt me or you’ll never see your precious Bucky again.” 

“Who?”

Steve pulled back as if he’d been burned. Something Rumlow said was like a sharp sting in entire being, stirring a disturbing confusion, yet he desperately wished he had grasped his mind around it before it rubbed away. 

“Sir, we’re ready to go,” the pilot informed, walking in on them. 

“Alright, time to suit up,” Rumlow said, nodding and reaching for his parachute with no intention of elaborating any further. 

Rumlow’s words had made Steve’s blood run cold. Even after he took a seat, they still haunted him throughout the whole flight. It rattled him, but he thought of all the moments he shared with Soldier, how they had this visceral bond, and even if it was out of foolish hope, he refused to believe that it was all false. They should be allowed to have just this one lovely dream in their unsparing world of nightmares, and Steve would do anything to protect it. 

As the hovercraft arrived at where they needed to be, Steve turned a cold shoulder to Rumlow’s yammering and stared down at the thick blanket of clouds where a line of vehicles were moving on the freeway beneath them. Focusing on where he wanted to land, he drew in a deep breath and leapt. 

_‘Don’t worry, Soldier. I’m coming for you.’ ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up longer than intended and took a lot longer to finish as well. I fell out of love with the writing style I used in this fic, but I got back into it, hopefully enough to finish this. Thank you for all the supportive comments!


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